LGBTQ+ Inclusive Guides

By Alexander Sterling, Image & Style Consultant Let me be real with you for a second Youve got a date lined up for Friday night Youve been chatting with this woman for a week, the energy is good, and youre excited But as the day creeps closer, that familiar knot starts forming in your stomach Whats the deal? Its not just about first impressions its about the unspoken weight of showing up Youre worried youll look awkward, smell wrong, or say something dumb I get it Ive helped dozens of guys tackle that exact anxiety And heres the hard truth no one tells you: shes already making up her mind before you even say a word. That sounds harsh, but its actually good news Because you can control that A smooth first impression isnt about being perfect its about being prepared In this guide, Ill walk you through a handful of essential grooming products and habits that will set you up to walk into any room with confidence, whether youre grabbing coffee in Austin, meeting for drinks in New York City, or hitting a rooftop in Los Angeles during summer. Why Grooming Is the Foundation of First Impressions Heres a story from my early days coaching I had a client named Daniel, a software engineer from Chicago Great guy, smart as hell, but his dating life was a ghost town Hed show up in a clean shirt, sure, but his hair was a mess, his skin was dry and flaky, and he had this generic body spray that smelled like a high school locker room One evening, I asked him to walk me through his pre-date routine He just shrugged I shower, put on deodorant, and hope for the best Thats not a plan Thats a prayer Daniel was relying on his personality to carry the night, but his outward presentation was sending a different message When we fixed his grooming game a simple skincare routine, a proper haircut, and a well-chosen scent the shift was immediate He reported back after his next date: She kept leaning in closer She told me I smelled amazing Thats not magic Thats the power of aligning your style with your intentions Grooming isnt shallow Its a signal It says: I respect myself, I respect your time, and Im here for real. The Core Grooming Tools You Actually Need Im not going to hand you a list of 50 products Nobody needs that You need four cornerstones: skincare, a clean shave (or beard care), good hair, and a signature scent Lets break each one down. Skincare: The Fresh-Face Effect Your face is the first thing people see If its dull, dry, or broken out, it distracts from everything else you bring to the table And listen a guy doesnt need a 12-step routine You need three things: a gentle cleanser, a lightweight moisturizer, and an eye cream for the dark circles that come with your 40-hour work weeks Ill never forget another client, Marcus from San Francisco He was 32, successful, but he had this perpetual tired look He told me, I wash my face with bar soap I winced We switched him to a simple daily cleanser and a moisturizer with SPF Within two weeks, his skin looked brighter, and his confidence shot up He started getting compliments at work My go-to recommendation for guys starting out is finding a trusted cleanser at Sephora or Target something non-stripping, preferably with salicylic acid if youre prone to breakouts Pair it with a moisturizer that sinks in fast, not one that sits on your skin like a greasy mask And for those darker mornings after a late night, an eye cream with caffeine can be a lifesaver It wont replace sleep, but itll make you look like you got some. Fragrance: Your Invisible Business Card Honestly, this is where most guys screw up They either overspray something cheap or they dont wear anything at all A fragrance isnt just for smelling good its a memory maker When you walk out of a date and she still smells you on her coat, youve already won a small victory For a smooth first impression, I recommend starting with something versatile, not too loud Think fresh and clean for daytime, slightly warmer and woodier for evenings You want a scent that invites people in, not one that announces you from across the bar One scent Ive seen work wonders for my clients is Dior Sauvage Its got that sharp, spicy freshness that works in almost any season A buddy of mine from Boston a contractor who never wore cologne in his life finally caved and tried a sample on a blind date The girl literally paused mid-sentence and said, You smell really good He nearly dropped his drink. (I may earn a commission if you make a purchase through this link.) Another solid pick for warmer weather is a citrus-driven scent like Acqua di Gio Its classic for a reason The key is to spray lightly one on the neck, one on the wrists and let the scent breathe Youre not trying to suffocate the room; youre just leaving a subtle trail. Hair and Facial Hair: The Frame of Your Face Your hair on your head and your face is the picture frame for your smile A sloppy hairstyle or an untrimmed beard can ruin even the most expensive outfit Im not saying you need a cut every week, but you should be visiting your barber at least every three to four weeks And please, for the love of God, learn your face shape If you keep a beard, invest in a good beard oil It keeps the skin underneath hydrated, prevents dandruff (yes, beard dandruff is a thing), and makes your beard look soft and intentional instead of wiry and desperate Apply it after a shower when your pores are open For guys who prefer clean shaven, a quality razor and a pre-shave oil are non-negotiable

By Dr. Marcus Thorne, Psychologist & Confidence Specialist Let’s be honest for a second. You’ve got the date set. The location is locked in—maybe a rooftop bar in Manhattan with skyline views, or a cozy pub in Shoreditch. You’ve spent the last 48 hours overthinking everything. Should you wear a blazer? Is your beard groomed enough? What if the conversation stalls after the first drink? Stop right there. I’ve worked with dozens of guys in New York and London who have the same fear: I’m not confident enough to make a great first impression. And you know what? Confidence for a first date isn’t some magical trait you’re born with. It’s a system. It’s a set of habits you can build in 24 hours. This guide is designed to help you walk into that date feeling grounded, sharp, and genuinely excited—not nervous. The Pre-Date Prep: It Starts the Night Before The biggest mistake I see guys make is waiting until the afternoon of the date to start preparing. By then, your brain is already in a state of reactive anxiety. You’re rushing to pick an outfit, you’re sweating over what to say, and you’re mentally rehearsing worst-case scenarios. Let’s flip that. The night before your date, set aside 20 minutes. Lay out your entire outfit on a chair—shoes, watch, jacket, everything. Check the weather forecast for your city. In New York, that might mean a crisp fall evening where a lightweight wool blazer is perfect. In London, it could be damp and 55°F, so a good-quality rain jacket or a stylish trench coat will keep you dry without looking like you’re about to go hiking. I once had a client, let’s call him Mike, who lived in Brooklyn. He had a date at a wine bar in the West Village. He showed up in a hoodie and jeans because he didn’t want to “try too hard.” The date lasted 40 minutes. She later told a mutual friend he seemed disinterested. The truth? He was just nervous and underdressed. Effort isn’t desperate—it’s respectful. So here’s the rule: Dress for the venue, not for the fantasy. A smart casual look works for 80% of first dates. Think dark jeans, a well-fitted button-down or a quality knit sweater, and clean leather sneakers or loafers. For a more formal spot, swap in chinos and a blazer. The Grooming Check: Your Face is the First Thing They See This is non-negotiable. I don’t care if you’re meeting at a dive bar in Austin or a Michelin-starred spot in Chicago. Your grooming sends a signal about how you treat yourself. If you show up with dry skin, an untrimmed beard, or a sloppy haircut, you’re telling her, “I didn’t think this was worth my time.” Here’s a simple routine that takes five minutes: Wash your face with a gentle cleanser to remove excess oil and wake up your skin. Moisturize—even if you have oily skin. A lightweight, non-greasy moisturizer keeps your skin looking fresh, not shiny. Groom your facial hair if you have it. Trim the neckline and cheek line for a clean look. If you’re clean-shaven, use a post-shave balm to prevent irritation. Apply deodorant—not cologne yet. You’ll add fragrance just before you leave. I recommend trying a solid moisturizer like Kiehl’s Facial Fuel. It’s lightweight, smells fresh, and works great for guys in their 20s through 40s. You can grab it at Sephora or on Amazon. One of my clients in London was using a heavy cream that made him look greasy under the pub lights. Switching to a gel-based moisturizer changed his whole complexion—and his confidence. Fragrance: Your Invisible Wingman I gotta say, this is one of the most underrated tools in your dating arsenal. A great scent doesn’t just smell good—it triggers memory and emotion. It can make you more memorable. But here’s the thing: don’t overdo it. You’re not trying to announce your arrival from across the room. You want someone to lean in a little closer to catch your scent. One or two sprays on your neck and wrists is plenty. Any more, and you’ll be the guy who smells like a department store counter. For a first date in a city like New York or Los Angeles, I lean toward something versatile. A citrus-woody fragrance works well for daytime or evening dates. If you’re heading out in the evening, something with a warm base like amber or sandalwood feels more intimate. One of my favorite picks is Dior Sauvage. It’s fresh, a little spicy, and it works in almost any setting. I had a client who used to wear a cheap body spray from the drugstore. I convinced him to invest in a proper fragrance, and within a week, he told me his date commented on how good he smelled within the first five minutes. That’s a confidence boost you can’t fake. (I may earn a commission if you make a purchase through this link.) The Conversation Playbook: Stop Trying to Be Interesting. Be Interested. Here’s the biggest myth in men’s dating advice: you need to be charismatic and funny to win someone over. No. You need to be curious. The most attractive quality you can bring to a first date is genuine interest in the other person. Ask open-ended questions. Instead of “Do you like your job?” try “What’s the most exciting project you’re working on right now?” Instead of “Where are you from?” try “What’s one thing you love about growing up there?” And here’s a secret: if you feel nervous, say it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve coached guys to just own the awkwardness. Try: “I’m not gonna lie—I was a little nervous walking in, but I’m really glad I’m here.” It’s disarming, it’s honest, and it usually gets a smile. It also takes the pressure off you to perform. If the conversation ever stalls, use the “What’s a recent thing that surprised you?” question. It’s open-ended, it’s positive, and it can

By Dr. Marcus Thorne, Psychologist & Confidence Specialist Let’s be honest for a second. You’ve got the date set. The location is locked in—maybe a rooftop bar in Manhattan with skyline views, or a cozy pub in Shoreditch. You’ve spent the last 48 hours overthinking everything. Should you wear a blazer? Is your beard groomed enough? What if the conversation stalls after the first drink? Stop right there. I’ve worked with dozens of guys in New York and London who have the same fear: I’m not confident enough to make a great first impression. And you know what? Confidence for a first date isn’t some magical trait you’re born with. It’s a system. It’s a set of habits you can build in 24 hours. This guide is designed to help you walk into that date feeling grounded, sharp, and genuinely excited—not nervous. The Pre-Date Prep: It Starts the Night Before The biggest mistake I see guys make is waiting until the afternoon of the date to start preparing. By then, your brain is already in a state of reactive anxiety. You’re rushing to pick an outfit, you’re sweating over what to say, and you’re mentally rehearsing worst-case scenarios. Let’s flip that. The night before your date, set aside 20 minutes. Lay out your entire outfit on a chair—shoes, watch, jacket, everything. Check the weather forecast for your city. In New York, that might mean a crisp fall evening where a lightweight wool blazer is perfect. In London, it could be damp and 55°F, so a good-quality rain jacket or a stylish trench coat will keep you dry without looking like you’re about to go hiking. I once had a client, let’s call him Mike, who lived in Brooklyn. He had a date at a wine bar in the West Village. He showed up in a hoodie and jeans because he didn’t want to try too hard. The date lasted 40 minutes. She later told a mutual friend he seemed disinterested. The truth? He was just nervous and underdressed. Effort isn’t desperate—it’s respectful. So here’s the rule: Dress for the venue, not for the fantasy. A smart casual look works for 80% of first dates. Think dark jeans, a well-fitted button-down or a quality knit sweater, and clean leather sneakers or loafers. For a more formal spot, swap in chinos and a blazer. The Grooming Check: Your Face is the First Thing They See This is non-negotiable. I don’t care if you’re meeting at a dive bar in Austin or a Michelin-starred spot in Chicago. Your grooming sends a signal about how you treat yourself. If you show up with dry skin, an untrimmed beard, or a sloppy haircut, you’re telling her, “I didn’t think this was worth my time.” Here’s a simple routine that takes five minutes: Wash your face with a gentle cleanser to remove excess oil and wake up your skin. Moisturize—even if you have oily skin. A lightweight, non-greasy moisturizer keeps your skin looking fresh, not shiny. Groom your facial hair if you have it. Trim the neckline and cheek line for a clean look. If you’re clean-shaven, use a post-shave balm to prevent irritation. Apply deodorant—not cologne yet. You’ll add fragrance just before you leave. I recommend trying a solid moisturizer like Kiehl’s Facial Fuel. It’s lightweight, smells fresh, and works great for guys in their 20s through 40s. You can grab it at Sephora or on Amazon. One of my clients in London was using a heavy cream that made him look greasy under the pub lights. Switching to a gel-based moisturizer changed his whole complexion—and his confidence. Fragrance: Your Invisible Wingman I gotta say, this is one of the most underrated tools in your dating arsenal. A great scent doesn’t just smell good—it triggers memory and emotion. It can make you more memorable. But here’s the thing: don’t overdo it. You’re not trying to announce your arrival from across the room. You want someone to lean in a little closer to catch your scent. One or two sprays on your neck and wrists is plenty. Any more, and you’ll be the guy who smells like a department store counter. For a first date in a city like New York or Los Angeles, I lean toward something versatile. A citrus-woody fragrance works well for daytime or evening dates. If you’re heading out in the evening, something with a warm base like amber or sandalwood feels more intimate. One of my favorite picks is Dior Sauvage. It’s fresh, a little spicy, and it works in almost any setting. I had a client who used to wear a cheap body spray from the drugstore. I convinced him to invest in a proper fragrance, and within a week, he told me his date commented on how good he smelled within the first five minutes. That’s a confidence boost you can’t fake. (I may earn a commission if you make a purchase through this link.) The Conversation Playbook: Stop Trying to Be Interesting. Be Interested. Here’s the biggest myth in men’s dating advice: you need to be charismatic and funny to win someone over. No. You need to be curious. The most attractive quality you can bring to a first date is genuine interest in the other person. Ask open-ended questions. Instead of “Do you like your job?” try “What’s the most exciting project you’re working on right now?” Instead of “Where are you from?” try “What’s one thing you love about growing up there?” And here’s a secret: if you feel nervous, say it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve coached guys to just own the awkwardness. Try: “I’m not gonna lie—I was a little nervous walking in, but I’m really glad I’m here.” It’s disarming, it’s honest, and it usually gets a smile. It also takes the pressure off you to perform. If the conversation ever stalls, use the “What’s a recent thing that surprised you?” question. It’s open-ended, it’s positive, and it can